


Able to Love

by caughtitonland



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, [genre] comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-21
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caughtitonland/pseuds/caughtitonland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny gets roofied with Ecstasy. Mayhem ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Able to Love

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Accidental drug use, blue balls, abuse of caplocks for yelling.
> 
> First. NOT BETAed. Second, I have never done drugs in my entire life, so this could be totally off. Third, I based this story loosely on a scene from Bad Boys II. Fourth, this will probably be best read while listening to [THIS](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeD5Zpo7sT0). Fifth, this is total CRACK and NOT meant to be taken seriously; it's all [desiredeffect"](http://desiredeffect.livejournal.com)'s [fault](http://redsirenfiction.livejournal.com/62337.html?thread=449921#t449921). Just sayin'.

Steve's not sure when it happened. Can't even really tell at first. Not until he sees Danny walk onto the dance floor and start doing the Sprinkler does he realize something is wrong. The pieces fall together pretty quickly and after locking the place down, they not only find their original suspect, but accidentally wrangle one of Oahu's biggest Ecstasy dealers in the process. The only problem? Someone slipped two pills into Danny's Longboard and now the guy is busy having a Dubstep concert in his head.

Kono's trying her hardest not to laugh as Danny pirouettes around the now-empty dancefloor, arms flailing as though he's drowning out on Pipeline. Chin's long gone, doubled over and holding his stomach as he laughs outright at his friend; it's not every day the straight-laced Detective Williams cuts loose. Even rarer still to see him inebriated, so Chin's enjoying the moment for what it's worth.

“Did you manage to dance him over to the ambulance for a quick check, boss?” Kono snorts, her lips pulled tight over her teeth and she's trying her hardest, she really is, but when Danny starts doing his best impersonation of Vanilla Ice, she goes the way of Chin and looses it. Steve just shakes his head. Yes, it's funny, hilarious even, that Danny's dancing is both terrible and comedic all at once; what's not going to be funny is the comedown that Steve's going to have to deal with all night and for a better part of the morning.

“STEPHEN! COME DANCE!” Danny's cry of glee makes Kono squeak and run out of the room laughing at the top of her lungs and clapping her hands. Chin's crying he's laughing so hard. Thank god no Unis are around to see their superior making a complete ass out of himself; Danny would never hear the end of it.

“Danno, pal, I think it's time to go home,” Steve calls over the still-thumping music of the club, cautiously approaching his partner. Danny grabs him and pulls him in close, one hand stuffed in Steve's hair while the other blatantly grabs his ass. Steve merely looks down, one eyebrow raised.

“Hi baaaby.” Danny grins a mile wide, looking all of five as he gazes up at Steve, pupils blown wide open; with the light show going on, it's almost scary how big and blue his eyes are.

“Hi, Daniel. It's time to go home,” Steve mimics Danny's face as best he can, waiting for a response; when all he gets is Danny doing a piss poor version of the Jerk, Steve decides enough is enough. Without a word to Williams, he bends at the waist and grabs Danny around his midsection, hauling him up onto his shoulder like he weighs nothing.

“HEY! WHERE ARE WE GOING? OOH, ASSS!” Danny's like a circus monkey on PCP, and Steve has to try very, very hard not to put him down, punch him out, and _then_ carry him to the car. The whole process would be much easier with Danny unconscious, at least for a few minutes.

“Put me down or I'm calling the cops on you, Stephen!” Danny suddenly cries, both of them mere inches from the passenger door of the Camaro. Steve merely grunts as he opens the door with his free hand and all but tosses Danny in with the other.

“Danno, I'm gonna say this one time, okay? For the whole ride home, I want you to pretend you're a Buddhist Monk who's in the middle of a year-long meditation, okay? No talking, no dancing, no nothing,” Steve's pleas fall on deaf ears as Danny immediately reaches over and turns on the stereo, finding the island's only dance station and cranking the volume.

“This is the shit, Steve! C'mon, baby, dance with me!” Steve just groans and straps Danny in; there's no way he's even going to _try_ and explain this one to the Governor. Not in person any way.

“So hot in here,” Danny murmurs once they're out on the road, the volume still too loud for Steve's liking, but low enough that he and Danny don't have to scream anymore.

“It's 'cause you're higher than a kite, Danno. Roll down the window, but _stay_ in your seat,” This time it's just a sigh of frustration as Danny does exactly what he was told not to, rolling down the window of his car and then sitting on the ledge of the door, seat belt somehow still on; at least PD can't pull them over for lack of restraints.

“Still too hot, Steve!” Danny announces after a block and a half of hanging out of the window and somehow not busting the door or side mirror in the process. Steve has to make sure not to veer onto the sidewalk as he catches Danny starting to strip out of his clothes from the corner of his line of sight.

“DANNY! Keep your damn clothes on at least 'till I get you home!” Steve barks, one hand coming out to slap against Danny's chest, preventing him from unbuttoning any more of his shirt. There's a time and a place, and Steve _really_ doesn't want to end up on the 11 o'clock news.

Somehow, McGarrett manages to get back to his house with Danny in one piece. No sooner is he parked though, than Danny is hopping out of the car, still dancing his ass off as he heads to the front door, shirt crumpled and swinging around over his head like a helicopter. Steve can't help but smile as he watches his partner try and navigate the three measly stairs that lead up to his entrance, Danny's eyes narrowed as he uses all of his concentration to lift one foot.

“So heavy...Stupid foot, LIFT!” It's the inner monologue that's suddenly in stereo by way of Danny's inability to keep quiet that has Steve threatening to crack up. Wincing and smiling all at once, he jogs to catch up to his friend, getting there just as Danny's about to fall back onto the lawn.

“Up ya go, buddy. That's it, one step at a time,” Steve grins, one arm under each of Danny's as he propels him forward. After a little finagling with the key, Steve manages to get them both inside without a scratch.

“Hey, this is my boyfriend's place. Secret makeout spot. No one can know. Shh!” Danny is suddenly very serious as he explains the facts to Steve, unaware of the fact that he's sweating bullets and that his pants are becoming a little X-rated down below.

“Heeey, I have an erection! Look!” _Scratch that. Perfectly aware of that issue,_ Steve thinks as he stares at Danny in bewilderment. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that his boyfriend, the one and only Detective Danny Williams, Tough Guy from Jersey, just _giggled_.

“Good for you. Go take a shower, you wreak of underage Miley Cyrus wannabes,” Steve instructs, pointing towards the bathroom, wondering if being so high has impaired anything _besides_ Danny's inner edit button which, to be fair, never worked well anyway.

“Dude, this is so cool. I haven't had one of these since last week!” Danny giggles again and it's all Steve can do not to tackle him when he adds, “and Miley Cyrus is a great person! A ROLE MODEL, STEPHEN!”

“STOP YELLING DANNY. I'M NOT DEAF!” Apparently, though very loud, Steve's yelling is also very funny to Danny, because all that happens is more of those damn giggles.

Steve pauses a moment in the entryway, trying to decide whether to follow Danny to make sure he doesn't drown in the tub, or letting him be and giving himself a few moments of peace.  
“STEVE! HELP!” He's off like a racehorse at the Kentucky Derby, swerving around the hallway and taking the stairs two by two to get to the master bathroom, where the panicked call is coming from.

He just about has a heart attack until he reaches the doorway and finds a very naked, very erect, and very _happy_ Danny standing in the tub, letting what seems to be hot water wash over him.

“Jesus Christ, Danny, what's wrong?”

“I'm not Jesus, but I think Satan's possessed the tub, 'cause the water won't come out cold. Just hot and it's making my thing stay hard. Gonna poke someone's eye out, Stephen, it's not funny!”

“I'm not laughing, Danno, and trust me, you won't be either come tomorrow morning.”

“Can you suck it?”

“What? No, I'm not sucking you off while you're high on E, Danny, are you nuts?”

“Please? Just a little? It won't go down, Stephen. This is worse than prom when Amy Collins wouldn't get off me. I swear her vagina had teeth. TEETH, Steve. Big, sharp, teeth that won't let go!” And Steve has to cover his face because the thought of a young Danny trying and failing to get a girl off his dick is just a _little_ funny.

“Ooh! Did you know that I jammed my finger one year playing baseball? Shipped—no, CHIPPED it. Little pirate ships floating around in my finger, bombing each other with red blood cells, and mopping the deck with white blood cells. Yo ho, ho, and a bottle of rum! And, and...STEVE, THAT'S FUCKING COLD, YOU ASSHOLE!” Steve's not sure whether he's laughing at Danny's singing, his marching, or his quick snap back into reality as the frigid water hits him.

“You love me,” Steve merely grins, making the water only a touch warmer and holding Danny in place with one arm.

“I want a divorce. Again.”


End file.
